SOLARIS - Abridged

Cast:	Father, Son, Wife, The planet Solaris (person in spherical costume) NB With a bit of planning and quick costume change this can be performed by two people.  Should be performed with bad Russian accents.

Scene 1 - The garden - or a potted plant placed prominently.

Son:		Hallo Papa
Father:		Hallo Son
		(they hug melodramatically)
Son:		I have come to say Ta Ta For Now
Father:		Why? Where you going?
Son:		To Solaris (points up melodramatically)
Father:		Yikes! You be careful Son, they all gone nutz up there.
Son:		Don't worry Papa, I'll be strong.
Father:		That's my boy
Son:		You can count on me.
Father:		I know I can.
Son:		I'm a psychiatrist.
Father:		Yep, you already one can short of a six-pack.
		(They hug again. Father exits stage l, son stage r. fade to black)

Scene 2 - The ten minute drive to the airport
Son enters stage r. running and holding toy steering wheel. He pauses centre stage, wiggles the wheel, honks the horn then exits running stage left.

Scene 3 - The Space Station
(Lights up, harsh white)
The planet Solaris wobbles past in the background to illustrate the station in orbit.
(Son enters stage l.)

Son:		Well, here I am on space station (looks around bemused) Where the hell is everyone? (He shrugs and recovers, then [melo]dramatically) Oh I am so Russian.  I am so depressed.  You see, my wife, she kills herself. 
While he is speaking his wife wanders in casually stage right, wearing a white chiffon nightie and holding a foaming plastic beaker with "liquid nitrogen" inked on in large red letters

Wife:		You think you got problems buster.

Drinks beaker, tosses it over her shoulder then flips out and dies spectacularly. The husband stands mute for a moment, then she bounces up again, grins at the audience then back at her husband)

Wife:		 What a rush!

The husband charges her and pushes her off stage right.
Sound - Countdown. Husband reappears rubbing his hands and looking satisfied.
Sound - The rocket blasts off. After a moment the wife leaps in again stage left.

Wife:		Surprise!

Scene 4 - The garden again
Enter father and son
Son:		Papa!
Father:		Son!
(They hug, yes ,you guessed, melodramatically)
Enter Solaris 

Solaris:		(Pointing) Gotcha!

End